Interrogating the Church, 05 – Listening:

All too often, the church has been guilty of not listening to people in the larger society. We have acted as though they are enemies to fear, rather than people to love. Our unwillingness to listen creates further distance between us and our neighbors, as it denies their humanity and anything of worth they might have to offer.

There is more than one way to use the term pride. I am proud of my kids. That is not the same thing as the sin of pride. What the Bible is concerned about is when we place ourselves as superior to others. That's not what LGBTQ+ pride is about. That is not what Black pride is about. That is not what efforts to grant native and immigrant peoples spaces for displaying their pride in their heritage and contributions is about. It is recognizing the inherent worth of the community and that there is much diversity among those who still belong.

For those struggling with a queer identity in terms of perceptions of sin, I would offer the following advice.

I encourage you to listen deeply to your queer child or friend. Their experience of life and their understanding of who they are may not match your experience. That's more than OK.

We used to tie up left-handed people's dominant hands to force them to use their right hands. We finally recognized this as abuse and there was nothing wrong with being left-handed.

Galileo was called a user of magic for using lenses to clarify his vision. People claimed he was involved in witchcraft and the work of Satan. We don't think of optometrists as magicians anymore.

Ask your queer kid/friend why that flag is important to them. Ask them why the name they have chosen matters. Ask them how it makes them feel when one or another name is used. Ask them to describe their world and how they understand it to be different from your own. Ask them how they came to the conclusion that they were transgender, gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or otherwise queer.

Don't ask these questions, however, if you can't separate yourself from emotional responses to what you do not understand. Ask only if you can place yourself in a position to hear them out completely. Only ask for understanding and clarification. Do not to interrupt, re-direct, or try to correct them.

Take what you have heard and sit with it for a week. Watch your child/friend. Gauge how they respond to yourself and others. See what you can learn about them you did not know before.

That’s what it means to listen. In many ways, that is actually the opposite of what the Bible calls the sin of pride. Pride as sin assumes that we already know the answers, that we are superior, that others need to shift their lives according to reality as we understand it. Pride extends to telling other people that they are inferior and less human that we are. That’s why so many people outside the church see common condemnations of the queer community as hypocritical and hateful. Only love can actually heal those wounds, and love requires listening intently.



— ©Copyright 2023, Christopher B. Harbin 



http://www.sermonsearch.com/contributors/104427/

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